Finding Yourself - 8 ways to feel more like yourself
Is your brain a little perfectionist gremlin? Mine sure is sometimes, and let me tell you, it gets old. You have all these huge dreams… or maybe just realistic, everyday goals. but you feel stuck. Your brain whispers things like, What will people think of me? or I’m not good enough, why even try? or the classic Who do you think you are? Sound familiar?
You want to be the very best right out of the gate, but that mindset can hold you back. Today, I want to talk about how we can move past perfectionism realistically. This isn’t another hustle-culture pep talk about "just starting." Instead, let’s explore why we get stuck and how to work through it in a supportive and sustainable way.
Why Perfectionism Feels So Big
As humans, we’re wired to want to do things well. Our existence alone is the result of thousands of years of collaboration and growth. So it’s no wonder we feel pressure to make the most of our short, delicate lives. Whether your dream is to leave a big legacy or simply take care of yourself and your loved ones, the desire to "do it right" can be paralyzing.
Common roadblocks that feed perfectionism include:
Time: You’re working all day, and by the time you get home, you’re too drained to focus on your goals.
Health: Chronic illness, disability, or mental health challenges can make it hard to even start.
Status and Achievement: Feeling like you haven’t "earned" the right to pursue your dreams yet.
Knowledge and Money: Thinking you need to learn more or buy better tools before you begin.
At the core of all these challenges is a common theme: an all-or-nothing mindset. It’s the belief that if you don’t have everything perfectly lined up, you can’t move forward. And honestly, that’s exhausting.
Recognizing All-or-Nothing Thinking
All-or-nothing thinking can be sneaky. You might not even realize you’re doing it. For example:
"I don’t have the perfect camera or setup, so I can’t record my video."
"I need the best sewing machine and expensive fabrics to start sewing."
"I’ll begin once I’ve done all the research."
This kind of thinking sets impossible standards and keeps you stuck. The good news? You can learn to work through it.
How to Overcome Perfectionism
Start Small: Progress doesn’t have to be huge. When I wanted to start my YouTube channel, I didn’t let a lack of time or experience stop me. I filmed my first clip on my lunch break, using my phone. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a start. I filmed in bite-sized chunks over multiple days and pieced it together. Was it perfect? Nope. But I learned so much by simply doing it.
Work Within Your Means: You don’t need the best tools or materials to start. Whether it’s creating art, filming videos, or exploring a new hobby, begin with what you have. Borrow, thrift, or improvise. For example, you can find a sewing machine in a Buy Nothing group or start painting with supplies from the dollar store. It’s not about perfection—it’s about starting.
Embrace Imperfection as Growth: Each "mistake" is an opportunity to learn. By creating and putting your work out there, you’ll grow faster than if you spent all your time preparing. Progress happens in the doing, not the planning.
Set Values-Based Goals: Focus on the process, not the outcome. When you align your goals with your values, you can enjoy the journey instead of obsessing over results. For me, this means focusing on connection and self-expression rather than metrics like views or likes.
Detach Your Identity from Your Work: Your worth isn’t tied to what you create. This was a hard lesson for me. As an artist, I’d linked my identity to my output. When I stopped painting, I felt lost. Now, I’m exploring creativity in new ways, like making videos and zines. It’s not about perfection; it’s about rediscovering joy in the act of creating.
Share Your Journey
Putting yourself out there is vulnerable, but it also opens the door for support. When you share your progress, whether online or with friends, you create opportunities for connection and encouragement. Yes, there may be naysayers, but there will also be people who see your courage and feel inspired.
What If It All Goes Right?
That sneaky voice in your head might ask, What if it all goes wrong? But here’s the thing: what if it all goes right? What if your dream takes off? What if the things you wish for actually happen? You won’t know until you take the first step.
So, let’s start small. Let’s embrace the imperfect. And let’s see where this journey takes us. I’d love to hear about your goals and how you’re tackling perfectionism. Share your story! I can’t wait to cheer you on!
Love, Luna
